Malegrams | Gameshow 
by: Tony Soprano
Who Will Get To 5000 Posts First?
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Contestant #1 jpfitness Age varies, varies, varies. Advantages 1. Has body doubles (even
though he vehemently denies this) posting for him as well as impersonating
him at his gym, giving him even more time to post. Given the fact that he’s amassed 2,300+
posts since October 2002, he’s well on his way. 2. Doesn't waste valuable
Men's Health posting time on Brothers In Iron, or his own site for that
matter. 3. Sustains his energy from
regular deliveries of supreme pizzas from 4. "Hey jp" is
probably the most common thread title, hence he's forced to respond, and the
post tally goes up! 5. He’s here to “Pump You
Up.” Disadvantages 1. Takes way too much time
trying to justify the fire storm he created on T-Mag with those swiss ball
pictures. He should have just let
those idiots wallow in there own mire and maybe sent them a link to
www.dictionary.com. 2. He posts on the Men's
Health forum in the wake of an F5 tornado in 3. Apparently has to make
time for running a gym and taking care of a young family between fitness
retreats; unfailingly positive
attitude means he can't get into arguments which usually require short posts
and pad your numbers. |
Contestant #2 Popeye Age 44, 5’7”, 152lbs. Advantages 1. Single. Has nothing
better to do. 2. Very clever and
creative--can make his boss believe that he occasionally works allowing him
to post instead. 3. His "1000 post
club" thread allows him to rip off other people's posts for his own use
upping his numbers. Disadvantages 1. Lengthy, thought-out
posts. 2. Lives on west coast and has to deal with
the fact that most of us leave work while it is still early in the afternoon
for him. 3. King of the non
sequitur. Many people don't respond to some of his posts because they don't
understand what the hell he said. Therefore, the thread dies. |
Contestant #3 Tony Soprano Age 33, 5’10”, 155lbs. Advantages 1. Works in the Network
Engineering industry, has extremely fast computers at his disposal and 24
hour high speed Internet access. 2. Pads his numbers with
short witty posts (occasionally described as 'smart-assed' by 3. Many of his posts
consist of only an emoticon, or occasionally an emoticon repeated several
times. Disadvantages 1. Wastes valuable Men’s
Health posting time on Brothers In Iron. 2. He's not very good or
very fast at typing and his supply of cut and paste posts are dwindling
rapidly...I mean, how many times can you post "Soy vs. Whey: You've Been
Tricked!". 3. Occasionally has to talk to wife instead of
the guys on Men's Health. |
